Pray for Your Haters: A Powerful Practice for Shifting Energy

Lately, many of my clients have shared struggles with difficult people in their lives. Whether it’s conflict at work, tension in relationships, a stranger you can't stand for some reason, or just feeling drained by others’ energy, the question remains: how do we deal with it?

Here’s my blanket answer: pray for your haters.

This isn’t just about taking the high road or “being the bigger person.” It’s about resetting the energy—within yourself and around you. Sending prayers or good intentions to those who challenge you doesn’t mean condoning their actions; it’s a way to reclaim your peace, release resentment, and realign with unconditional love.

Here’s an excerpt from my book, The Art of Sacred Smoke, that dives deeper into this practice:

Dealing with Difficult People

In 2016 I was hired as Marianne Williamson’s Head of Operations, a challenging and transformational role. After my time with Marianne, I left New York City, where I had lived for almost a decade, and relocated to Florida where I started SMUDGED. 

Starting a company is not easy by any means, and there were people I encountered along the way who presented obstacles big and small. But rather than wishing them harm or hoping they’d leave me alone, I did the very opposite. It’s Marianne who taught me this highly effective strategy, from A Course In Miracles. She says, “The most powerful way to nullify any negative energy between you and another person is to pray for their happiness. The alchemy is miraculous.” 

By praying for someone’s health and happiness, you completely transform the relationship you hold with that person. By the end of the ritual, the strife between the two of you will have disappeared or you will have had a shift in perception and you will no longer be bothered.

For optimal results, I recommend practicing this ritual for thirty-three days. The number thirty-three is a master number in numerology, and can lift the self and others into enlightenment.  

What You’ll Need

• A physical representation of the person you are having difficulty with, like a photo or a physical object that reminds you of the person 

• Any kind of sacred smoke (I use rose)

• A prayer wishing them well. Below is a sample prayer you can use but make sure to customize to fit your needs.

Perform the Ritual

1. Prepare Your Space
   Sit at your altar with a physical representation of the person (e.g., a photo or object) placed visibly on the altar.

2. Ground and Connect
   Ground yourself into Pachamama (Mother Earth) and connect to the Sun, anchoring your energy between the Earth and the sky.

3. Open Sacred Space
   Open sacred space in whatever way feels authentic to you, inviting the support of your allies or higher power.

4. Connect to the Representation

   • If it’s a photo: Gaze at it for several minutes, allowing the person’s essence to come alive in your mind’s eye.

   • If it’s an object: Hold it in your hands, bringing it close to your heart. Open your imagination and engage your five senses to connect deeply.

5. Say Your Prayer
   Speak your prayer aloud, even if it feels unnatural at first. Over time, this practice will become more authentic and heartfelt.

6. Express Gratitude
   Bring to mind one thing you can be grateful for about this person. It could be a lesson they taught you, a shared memory, or even something from the past. If nothing comes to mind, make any simple statement of gratitude aloud.

7. Burn Sacred Smoke
   Light your sacred smoke and allow the smoke to rise. Ask it to clear any negativity from your heart and mind, creating space for healing and peace.

8. Close Sacred Space
   Thank the allies and energies that supported you during the ritual. Release your connection to the Earth and the Sun, bringing yourself fully back to the present moment.

9. Repeat for 33 Days
   Perform this ritual for thirty-three consecutive days to fully reset and shift the energy.

If you’ve done this ritual or something similar - I would love for you to share your experience in the comment section, so others know the power of this practice.

*Illustration by Louise Androlia.